Monday, December 25, 2023

Demolishing my own school

 


My primary school was just across the road from where we stayed. It was a modest building with a long hall. Class rooms were separated by thin wooden partitions. The walls were weak, but neatly painted. The floor was cemented, but not polished. The roof was covered by asbestos sheet.

But I never felt these shortcomings during my four years, initially. These inconveniences were superbly compensated by the excellent learning atmosphere created in the school. The teachers, except for ( yes you guessed it right) the math teacher, were loving, caring and knowledgeable. The Head Mistress was very calm and wise. She taught us all the etiquettes which are still useful. The art teacher was a wonderful singer and she exposed us to various forms of art. We even got opportunity to showcase many of them at All India Radio. Though we had a very small playground, we were encouraged to spend as much time as possible for physical activities. During annual sports we competed fiercely among ourselves. The Bal Vihar classes were a treasure of wisdom, where, thorough stories, we were taught the fundamental values and morals of life. In short, those four years made our minds so fertile for the seeds to be sown for our future life.

 One major drawback was the school not having the required recognition and on the last year the students had to go to another school, get ourselves registered there and then appear for the exams. During those days, since such things were common, it was not considered as a disadvantage.

During the last year, I was the school leader. Since we had around thirty students in the whole school, there was nothing much for the school leader to do. One privilege I had was the responsibility to monitor the morning and evening assemblies. Still, being the school leader was an honor.

It can be quiet shocking to know that in spite of me loving the school and being grateful to whatever it provided me, I felt like demolishing it towards the end.

We were in the month of November and since we had to leave the school by January, the classes were almost over. It was during that time that a strange idea came into my mind. For reasons unknown, I started hating my school. I felt they had not done enough for us. The infrastructure was not adequate and even after many years they were not able to get the recognition. Because of that we are forced to go to another school and spend the remaining days in unfriendly and challenging conditions. At that time the fourth standard exams were important for further studies.

To my amazement I found all my love and respect for the school turning into a kind of hatred. I shared the feelings with my friends and they also supported my views. It did not take much time for my mind to get corrupted. Despite the values and the morals the school tried to inculcate in me, my mind wandered into muddy shores. That is when me, along with my friends, decided to demolish the school. We knew we could not do much but wanted to do whatever we can within our limits. Thus, we decided to focus on one particular wall and kick that wall as much as possible whenever we got time. So, those who supported the idea started kicking the wall whenever we were free. We used to run towards the wall and kick it with full force. We thought, with our constant efforts we could at least make a dent. We were confident that if we could make one hole on the wall the whole school will collapse.

Our unbounded enthusiasm continued till the time we were caught red handed by the Head Mistress. She asked only me to accompany her to the office.

When she asked why I did it, I was not having a proper answer.

Do you hate the school so much? She asked. I was dumbfounded and even could of think of a valid reason for the hatred.

Then the Head Mistress gave me some pearls of wisdom, which I till treasure.

She said, “I have few things to tell you which I hope you will keep in mind throughout your life. 1) If you don’t like something or feel something is not adequate enough, don’t try to destroy or demolish it. Instead, try to build something which you feel is appropriate. 2) I know others are also partners of the crime but called only you because you are the leader. By being the leader, you are representing the whole school, with all its values and morals. So, when you make a mistake, you are not letting yourself down, but the whole school. 3) Since you are the leader, you have to accept the punishment.”

She removed me as the school leader with immediate effect and asked me to stand in front of the assembly so that the whole school will be aware of the mistake I made.

Why mind got corrupted so fast is still a mystery for me. However, that day I realized how easy it is to smudge even the purest of minds. Like a drop of ink dropped into a glass of water, it spread throughout my thoughts, making me extremely vulnerable.

Since then, I have met many leaders in my life and have read and known a lot about leadership. Nevertheless, I am yet to meet a leader who accepted the responsibility of a mistake he or she made and stepped down from the position he is holding or the privilege he is enjoying. I am yet to meet a leader being severely punished for his or her destructive and thoughts and ideas. I am yet to see a leader made to stand in front of the citizen, with his head hanging with shame for the mistake he did.

I think what we need is a lot of such calm, wise and powerful headmistresses.

4 comments: