Are we becoming islands?

 

“I had a heart attack”, he said.

I stared at him in disbelief.” I was not aware”, I muttered, apologetically.

“No, no, not that kind of heart attack” he corrected me, “I mean my heart was broken”. I heaved a sigh of relief; he was talking figuratively.

We were meeting after many years. We were best friends during our college days. Even after getting   jobs in different cities, we were in touch with our limited resources. However, after he migrated to Gulf countries it was difficult for us to meet frequently. From whatever I knew, he had a good job, small family, decent earnings and a satisfying life. That was till the time he shared his story.

Though he had whatever I mentioned above, what he was not having are those moments which we consider more important in life. Due to his work schedule, he does not have any meaningful friends. He has lost the habit of reading. Recreational activities are almost nil. Though he earns quiet well, much of it is spend on securing the future as job is highly insecure. Family get -togethers with friends are rare and even when they meet the wave length is missing. In short, he has everything but some good time in life. I realized the intensity when he said he treasures these few hours we are spending together much more than many things in life. I listened carefully when he poured out his woes, anguishes and despairs. “For an outsider, I have everything in life. What I need is someone to talk to whenever I am down”, his eyes where moist when he said that.

I felt really guilty. It is true that we were physically far away. However, there were various methods in which we could have connected with each other. Still, we failed to do so.

It was during that time when one of my neighbor informed me that their daughter is undergoing depression. She was a vibrant and lively teenager, generally active in everything. Suddenly she has withdrawn into a shell and has become taciturn. Parents failed to understand the reason behind this sudden change and decided to take her to a doctor. Before that they requested me to talk to her. I was reluctant as I am not an expert in this matter. But I knew of the impact if she is taken to a doctor. She was so close to us so I decided to spend some time with her. Fortunately, she opened up to some extent. As she was growing, her views, ideas and experiences about life were changing and naturally she was confused. She was not confident of sharing her concerns with anyone so she started scribbling it down. Those thoughts weighed her down a lot and she found solace in her solitude. She was like a rudderless boat in the river, wandering aimlessly. When she looked around there was no one with whom she can confide with. I was successful in coaxing her to show me the notes she made. What she wrote were really matured for her age. Eventually we were able to convince her that we appreciate her concerns and it is quite natural to go through such experiences at her age. Slowly and steadily, she regained her old self.

The suicide of CCD owner Mr. Sidharth used to be a topic of discussion among my friends at that time. We had failed to understand why a successful, intelligent and positive person like him took such a drastic step. We wondered, how a person with so much connection, network and relationships, was left alone when he took such tragic decision in his life.

These are just few instances. I am sure, all of us will be having our own share of such stories. What is common about them is, somewhere deep down they were all lonely and ached for someone to lovingly gaud them back to life. What I learned was the real self of a person can be completely different from what we see. “Beneath the apparent calmness there is turmoil”.

While these thoughts were tormenting me, I read something very interesting. It seems, once a huge whale swam into the Themes River, by mistake. Imagine the confusion and torture it must have gone through finding itself in completely unfamiliar surroundings. It was written that the Govt spend a huge amount of money to guide the whale back to its natural habitat.

What triggered my thoughts further was a recent incident where a young guy who went for trekking along with his friends on a mountain, slipped and fell into a cleft deep down. He could not move out of that place for a couple of days. Government had to take the help of army to get him out. He had spent couple of days without food and even water.

The fact is, there are millions who have slipped from their lives and fallen to the deep crevices. They stay there all alone with no one to rescue them. There are millions who entered alien waters and are swimming listlessly. The reasons can be different-ill health, financial crisis, failed relationship, loss of dear ones and so on. But they all are broken and extremely lonely.

How many lives must have failed or lost just because there was no one with them when they desperately needed a healing touch. Most of us go through such moments and need someone to reassure us; someone who can hold us close and give that magical hug which may bring us back from those haunting black thoughts.

Unlike what the poet said, people are really becoming islands. Deep within, we all need a bit of compassion and a companionship. On one hand we are ashamed to ask for it, and on the other we fail to recognize the need of the other person. It is high time we kept our difference and hatred apart and loudly declare that we are there for each other. If we could rescue a whale, will it be a herculean task for us to salvage a fellow being?